MusicMiame

Mon, 27 Oct 2008 18:04:04 GMT

Thanks. For ruining my day with a song. For creating this guilty pleasure of thinking about you. When I wasn't before. & I'm left asking the evergreen question - Why?

You fill up all the space

inside of me

– about to overflow –

stretching out your hand

as I asphyxiate,

pulling me up with your

everlasting niceness.

Niceness.

Then the ice cracks again

& I’m out in the cold.

again.

A return....

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 18:23:30 GMT

Gawd I haven't written in ages!! I miss doing this and reading everyone else's posts... I'm gonna have to get back into this. I've also started writing poetry again after a long break of no inspiration whatsoever, so it's all good! But.... now it feels slightly different....

A Greek Maiden
A tanned beauty,
A ditzy air

& he is lost
for a while -
pleasure in pleasure

unknown to me,
but - waking -
awkward smiles

& lies. & I,
if there
- feeling too much
in his prison sheets -
another meaningless fuck.

Stolen from Bloody Keri.... :)

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 18:49:49 GMT

The Big Read reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they've printed.

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own LJ so we can try and track down these people who've read 6 and force books upon them ;)

I've read 38 as well!! But a different 38....

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller's Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli's Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid's Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones's Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight's Children - Salman Rushdie – half read it, then stopped…
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte's Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Aiiiieeeeaieeaieeee

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 19:01:32 GMT

What a strange up and down day. A day where his face was turned away and said 'hi' to everyone but me and I didn't mind, and hers was all too close, spitting in mine and I did mind, and I overcame some confusion that still hung around after a couple of weeks. I’m lovely and busy busy busy but there’s still that feeling underneath everything…. Who knows what it is.

To make her understand

her tongue

is my distrust & distance

& he –

that his

masculine foulness

wrote those words

on her tongue

& stained the

unconditional

would be a lifetime’s regret

wishing everything undone &

unsaid. But

they together moulded me

& now slice strips –

dreams, ambitions,

a lifetime’s hope –

rubbing the rotten illusions

in my face

before throwing them

– destroyed –

on the

cesspit of their own mistakes.

Interpretations

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 21:00:15 GMT

I was thinking earlier about music, and how much it goes through.... You've got to have a composer in the first place, who finds his/her muse, writes it down, then the performer, who has to learn the notes and the style it should be played in and work out his/her interpretation, and then once it's performed the audience decide on their own interpretation of it!
And then I thought poetry is a little bit like that. No one knows exactly what the poet thought/felt when he/she wrote the poem. And the poem will have a different meaning for every person... Isn't that amazing?!

Anyhoo, I guess no one really reads this any more cos I haven't posted for aaages... but I'm watching you!!! Still. I just haven't written anything in a long time. I guess I wasn't miserable enough! It's true - 'happiness writes white'.

Snapshots of

childhood oblivion.

An unrecognised paradise.

Look at her,

all herself.

Before they imposed

their judgement

& she became

longing for that

memoryless escape.

Ze poems haff dried up

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 19:36:54 GMT

I finished reading 'The Name of the Rose' by Umberto Eco last night and it was brilliant. Read it. :)

Life is....

Wed, 21 May 2008 18:19:43 GMT

very boring right now. Very boring indeed. & one great blob of worry. Worryworryworry.

The Missing Anonymous

To be born again.

To turn left instead of

right –

is wrong right?

Shedding everything like

autumn leaves

shrugging off their ballgowns when the

summer dance is

done.

To have no identity,

a face without a name,

a person without a past –

impossible temptation.

What happened yesterday is the last time until the next time.

Wed, 14 May 2008 18:57:09 GMT

I'm feeling playful and optimistic, which is strange. Not like me at all! :P Although I haven't any time to read at the moment which is making me sad... I need to escape into another world! I saw 'The Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind' though, which I didn't think would be that good and actually was quite interesting. It made me realise just how much I'd hate not having my memories - even the ones I regret.

Anyhooo, this isn't meant to be that serious....

Caretaker

i know he’d

take care

if he took me.

but to take me

he’d have to care.

& i know i haven’t

taken his care –

i am still

taking care of all

this taken &

unreturned care –

hidden behind laughter, i –

caretaker.

Squeaking Seated

Tue, 13 May 2008 17:53:36 GMT

I just wondered earlier - how quiet the world would be if no one said or asked anything they didn't really want to. Hardly any "how are you?"s or the long replies that some people give....

Moongazer –

you’ve shot past,

star-sailor,

astronaut of my dreams,

flying way above

me,

what I wish for

upon those

you navigate with such

ease.

Summer

Mon, 05 May 2008 15:47:40 GMT

Summer's here because it smells of summer outside, because I was listening to 'Graceland' earlier, because I am stressed about exams....

eucalyptus

this coffin of

pain keeps me

supinely trapped in my

uselessness.

my enemies hold –

aching –

Necessities.

restrained by these

unyielding walls –

that great Art

i once wove

& sparked

in ears –

Gone.

Fri, 02 May 2008 20:44:51 GMT

Loggerheads

With an ear

pressed to the table surface

the machine purrs –

magnifyingly muffled

peace of

an argument stretched

beyond this quiet, silhouetted Time.

At loggerheads.

It lifts my head with a

pang of separation –

she is my route

to here –

the only. Ever.

Loggerheads’ mother

founds a wry smile –

“We must be idiots, mum”

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 20:43:35 GMT

Chameleon Girl

For you – dropped ‘t’s,

you – sesquipedalian,

here I’ll laugh

& there frown because

monitored movements mean

avoiding offence

by changing, shifting,

choosing from my wardrobe of

‘me’s.

But what’s

natural?

Nothing –

others settle,

shoving past to be

who they think they are.

I – am –

chameleon girl.

Restless

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 20:14:09 GMT

It'd be nice if I could skip out tomorrow. But I can't. I keep waiting for things to change and they don't. And here's yet another silly poem.

Ice.

The realisation of

always

never having anything

has killed care.

She weeped, weeping,

sniffling there,

friend of long walks & such.

& now I watch.

Never moving except to

turn for the next laugh.

Am I

crumbling too?

Or gradually tearing myself

apart.

Teasing off strands &

throwing them to the

wind.

Blow me away.

I caved in myself

to remain.

& I’ll remain

a speck –

touch of an instant

warded away by

– my own –

emotionless insubstance.

I'll drop my pencil....

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 20:41:13 GMT

I've had such a good week :) It's been really strange, but nice. And amusing.

Footsteps.

I know them well –

a heavy beat of two.

The well rehearsed

politeness

& calm.

content

to smile

& be watched.

Screaming in public places

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 19:53:39 GMT

I wrote this ages ago and never really worked out whether it was any good or not.

Latch

At 6 – Queen

of all she surveyed.

Listened to the air,

smiling at the grass

carpeted with sun,

the tree root

moulded just for her,

dreaming while

tree-leaves waved.

At 16 –

Possessor of nothing but a

love begun from this

kind, old woman

with tissue-paper face &

swollen fingers shaking

at their loss.

She returned

to lilac crocuses

that once peeped from

snow & snowdrops

bowing their heads.

She returned

wearing vanity

& a head of

others' words.

She returned &

gazes at the

hills & fields now

stretching ahead.

Shivering,

she turns away,

for the last time.

The Return :)

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 20:31:21 GMT

I'm back!! I don't have time to write much, but here's a couple.

Dedicated to Ama and Kong Kong

They know it is close.

Content to be near

together with

wordless memories

shared time & breath

of ever youthful

love is theirs & them

& they

know they are

close to close.

framed freedom

window gazing –

longing to escape but

confined behind the pane.

pressed skin smudges, leaving the

smear of presence &

condense breathe of

this need to be

away

So long, farewell, aufwiedersehen, goodbye!!!

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 22:18:14 GMT

I'm going somewhere with no computer access for the next 3 weeks, so I'll be missing reading everyone's entries!! :( Byeee!

Spring Cleaning

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 20:56:46 GMT

I'm confused.

Lost Days

Lost days

– plastered over wounds. My

lost days

surfacing from some

dust-covered

unimportant

to ensure ceaseless

pain.

Those lost days

– a meandering trail of

memories never

reached

Rambling

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 19:48:12 GMT

It felt like I hadn't written anything in ages, until this lunchtime (ish). And I was thinking about what it's like, writing a poem. It's like shaking up one of those little globes and watching the snow fall down. It's like reaching out your arm and closing your hand on something that isn't there, and then polishing it. It's strange, but it's almost as if the poem isn't yours but you're Its.

And I'm rambling again. Just like my thoughts recently. Ambling around, strange.... Isn't it strange how 'ambling' is 'rambling' without the 'r'?
What am I talking about?!

Hands

If –

then the sticky

handprints over

guilty handprints cover

your body.

Hands

Insatiable

Frenzied hands

Imperfect Symmetry –

Hands

– of us –

This too much is

not enough.

"We don't know which way to go"

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 21:34:27 GMT

I've been in a fairly good mood for most of this week, and i think it may be due to the absence (because of illness) of the girl who regards me as her best friend. It's sad that she still hasn't noticed we drifted apart years ago. And i feel bitchy saying that when she's not there i feel happier. But it's like she's a dead weight round my shoulders.

This poem is not how I feel at the moment, but I've been wanting to post it for a while...

Inhabitants of a

dank cave.

Every last not said

rotting away.

Trample on

charred pieces

burnt out by

irritation. Disgust -

Detesting is

stagnant slime

& the stench of

decay.

Watch the putrid remnants

drip

from this

corroded stalactite.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

It'll never change

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 20:06:22 GMT

All I have to say, or rather, ask, is why? Why why why? WHY?????

The Same Again & Ever

Eyes

– searching, stripping –

unmet. Rage at

wasted time spent

in here

unaware.

Walking hoping

rain will wash

clean – but

no – it leaves the

odour of

dull depression.

Walk on alone.

All Possibilities

Sun, 09 Mar 2008 19:06:16 GMT

This is sort of how I feel. In parts. And it's a great song :D

'All Possibilities' by Badly Drawn Boy

All possibilities
are landing at my feet.
There's nothing I can see
but possibilities

All colours are changing in my eyes
Your hopes are all fading, that will never do
You're seeing the world through cynical eyes
I'm seeing the world through the eyes of somebody new
Oh there's a hope left, there's a dream still in my heart
Look past the answers, theres a chance that theres no rulebook for this love

All possibilities
are landing at my feet
There's nothing I can see
but possibilities

All the colours are changing in my eyes
Your hopes are all fading, that will never do
You're seeing the world through cynical eyes
I'm seeing the world through the eyes of somebody new

Oh there's a hope left, theres a dream still in my heart
Look past the answers, there's a chance that there's no rulebook for this love

'there's a chance that there's not rulebook for this love' :)
And no, I still don't believe in 'love' as in what everyone seems to define as 'love'. I say 'love' for want of a better word....

Smiling from Sunshine :)

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 20:10:36 GMT

Today KC & the Sunshine Band saved me. So, thanks to them.

I'm beginning to dislike title-ing my poems... Unless they need a title. I think it's sort of like an introduction. And some poems work better without one? Hmm.

Let’s be equals.

This is

what I want

it has come to me –

& you?

If you did

would it be? –

It couldn’t –

to me yours is

important. But

for me – we –

smile – in conspiracy

no matter.

Needs

Thu, 06 Mar 2008 21:02:15 GMT

How can you like someone so much without even believing in 'love' (not that I think I'm in love) and without even knowing the object of your interest, and knowing that you really, really, really can't be with him... well, at least for the near future (as in, next 2 years)!? The human mind is a ridiculous thing.

This poem has no title.

A need

to form the

shape of you

with my lips.

Not unwise

but unknowing

I know

footsteps will

not bring arms

to take

me away.

The air-space carries

a face,

though,

for the finger of

my eye to

know

your whispered words

to hold.

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 18:33:46 GMT

Ropes

Wedding Ring –

a noose for

crucifixion?

Behind the false

moment photographs

on the successful

man’s desk

they operate –

locked away.

He –

grey man

settled in this

- unchangeable.

I will

not

be bound

by you.